Whiskey for Breakfast

[Verse]
I woke up late, the rooster crowed twice,
My old dog’s got a hangover, paid the price.
The tractor’s in the pond, the barn’s on fire,
And my boss keeps callin', he’s a professional liar.

[Chorus]
Whiskey for breakfast, biscuits for lunch,
Life’s a little crazy, but I got a hunch—
If the world’s gone sideways, might as well laugh,
Pour me another, and don’t cut it in half!

[Verse 2]
The preacher caught me dancin' on the bar last night,
Said, "Son, you need Jesus, or a guiding light."
I told him, “Pastor, I’m already saved,
By a jukebox, cold beer, and a honky-tonk rave!”

[Prechorus]
But the cows are loose, and the pigs are too,
The farm’s gone wild, and so have I—woo-hoo!

[Chorus]
Whiskey for breakfast, biscuits for lunch,
Life’s a little crazy, but I got a hunch—
If the world’s gone sideways, might as well laugh,
Pour me another, and don’t cut it in half!

[Bridge]
Grandma’s on the roof, says she’s birdwatchin’ now,
Grandpa’s in the shed, milkin’ a plastic cow.
My cousin’s got a mullet, thinks he’s in a band,
And the family reunion’s got a five-piece can!